Buying My First Home as a Single Woman: What I Learned Along the Way
Buying a home is daunting and intimidating, especially when doing it by yourself! So, imagine me jumping in to the deep end of home buying as a single woman without a second thought and just trying to keep up with the process. Not knowing what to expect through the process was what made it so intimidating, so I’ve written this post to share my experience and tell you what I would have liked to know so that maybe you won’t feel quite as intimidated as I did!
Why I Decided to Buy a Home
What a loaded question that is! I think the reason to buy is different for everyone and for me the answer is: A Mid-Life Crisis. Sitting on my couch, staring down the big 30 birthday and feeling like I needed a big change in life, I responded to a “Self Promo Sunday” post for a realtor in a facebook group I’m in! Which in hindsight feels a little unhinged, but what can I say - it turned out well for me!
That makes it sound like it was such an easy process, but it was not, at least not for me. I had no idea what I was doing or how the process worked. There were so many moments through the process that I just sat there thinking “what the heck have I gotten myself in to?”. Now that I get to sit on a couch in a home I own and can do whatever I want, I can say the process was worth it!
There was never really a renting vs buying war in my mind - each has their own advantage! I liked the freedom of renting - that I could pick up and move at the end of the lease if I don’t like it, there isn’t any yard work, no maintenance, a pool (always a requirement when I’m looking for an apartment!). For a home, I like the idea of being able to do whatever I want with it (paint, new tiles, wallpaper), that I’ll be building equity for future Ashley, and that I’ll have a space that is fully my own. Now, as mentioned, I bought a condo and not a house - let me tell you why. So many people talk about how much they hate HOAs and that you’re still attached to other people in a condo - which I get. But ultimately, having a house that I would have to take care of fully on my own felt so overwhelming (siding, roof work, yard work, tree maintenance, fences - all of that is stuff that I’m not interested in figuring out right now), so if I could pay an HOA fee monthly to have that taken care of by all means I’m happy to. Not only that, but I put myself on a limited budget and most of the areas I could afford a home in were areas that I wouldn’t be comfortable living as a single woman. So, I started looking at condos in nicer areas!
Now the question I know you all want to ask: Why buy solo? And the answer is quite simple - because I’m single! After spending 5 years waiting on someone who ultimately decided I wasn’t worth his time, I decided to quit waiting around. If I want to do something, I’ll do it even if it means I have to do it by myself! I had the money to buy a house on my own, so why not? And now I can paint my kitchen cupboards pink and my bedroom purple and I don’t have to ask anyone else what their opinion is!
Unlocking my condo for the first time post closing!
Preparing to Buy
As mentioned before, I bought my condo without a plan but I can’t say I would recommend it (though it turned out well for me, I think it’s best to make sure you are prepared). When making such a big decision (and it is a big decision!), it’s important to make sure you think it through and consider all angles and possibilities. So, you’ll definitely want to sit down and have a conversation with yourself about why you want to buy and if it will ultimately serve your goals! If you are someone who likes to jetset around the world and value travel and going out more, then maybe renting is the better option for you!
One of the biggest hurdle’s to buying a home is the down payment! There are programs that can help you buy a home with low or no down payments (so make sure to do your research!) My down payment came straight from my savings - I plan on making a cost breakdown of my process soon! The one thing that I really didn’t consider was the closing costs. When you’re saving, make sure to take those in to account! Closing costs are costs that are associated with closing/your mortgage on top of your down payment. The deal we worked out for my closing was that the sellers paid closing costs (so I could pay to break my lease!), so the only “cost” I had on the day of closing was my down payment!
Once you have your down payment sorted, you’re next step is pre-approval! This is important for 2 reasons: 1) it will let you know what your lender thinks you can afford and will also let sellers know you’re serious about buying. I felt like it was most important to me to narrow down a price range for what I thought I could afford. Which brings me to the most important part of this whole process: your budget. It’s so important to make sure you’re purchasing a home that will fit within your budget. For me, in order for purchasing a home to be worth it, it had to be around or less than my current rent. Owning a home wasn’t so important to me that I was willing to give up the other areas of my budget (such as saving for travel - probably the biggest thing I wasn’t willing to give up to be honest) and if I couldn’t find a home that matched that price range, then I wasn’t going to buy! I put myself on a pretty strict budget and probably could have “afforded” more than I got, but I wasn’t comfortable with that monthly payment and so bought a condo that I was comfortable with! I think it’s important when building your budget to remember a couple of things: 1) HOA fess if you’ll have them, 2) Utilities in a home can be higher than an apartment, 3) Home maintenance (you’ll want to make sure to have money saved for any issues that come up!)
The other thing I will note here is that, especially if its your first time buying a home, a good realtor is key. They will be able to guide you through the process and help you to understand your options! Do your research and make sure you get a good realtor!
Closing Day!
House Hunting Process
This was a very short process for me and to be honest, I feel like that made the process more stressful for me! I always see online how people spend months looking for the perfect home and so that is what I was expecting the process to look like. Well color me surprised when I toured houses for 2 weeks before finding the one I bought. For me, that made the process more stressful just because I didn’t feel like I really had time to process and come to terms with the big decision I was making - I literally cried in the car after touring the condo I ended up buying! Just because I knew I liked it and knew I wanted it and felt overwhelmed by how fast the process went!
There are so many homes on the market, so I found making a list of my must haves and wants was helpful in narrowing down what I wanted to look at. Through the process of viewing, you’ll find what actually is and isn’t important to you. When I first started looking, I was touring houses. I thought I would want a small house with a small yard (I actually hate yard work haha) close to my family! And through the process of viewing, I decided that being close to my family, in a safe neighborhood, and little maintenance were the most important things on my list! Thats how I knew I (well technically Georgia found it and sent it to me) found the one! Sure, it needs a little work, but it’s stuff I’m comfortable doing! Any house/condo you purchase is going to need work in some way, so it’s important not to discount a house you love just because it needs some work (as long as you are comfortable doing it).
first night the condo - we had chinese food, cake, and rosé by camplight!
Things I Wish I Knew Before Buying
I wish I knew more about the cost! Which might sound silly, but I felt like every time I turned around I needed to pay some fee or for some service. I knew there was going to be a down payment, but I didn’t realize the actual costs that would come in through the process! There was the inspection fee, earnest money, a mortgage application fee. To be honest, I just didn’t think about it! And as someone who likes to save my money and spend it as little as possible, it was a difficult process haha. Included with that would be the cost of actual home items. I’ve never had the need for paint, but the kid at the Home Depot paint department certainly knows my name now! And let me tell you, paint is way more expensive than I would have thought (and don’t get me started on wallpaper!). All that to say, that post closing, you’re going to have even more costs! Moving expenses, a new lock, any little repairs you may want to do - they’ll all add up pretty quick! That is also something I didn’t think about and probably should have.
The other thing, besides money, that I wish I would have known is just how emotional this process would be. It’s such a rollercoaster from excitement, to stress, to disappointment, and back again. The amount of times, just in the short time I was looking, that I was ready to call it a day and never think of buying a home again is embarrassing.
Buying as a Single Woman
I think making such a big decision on my own is part of what made the process stressful to me. I spent a lot of the process doubting myself and wondering what the heck I was even doing. But at the end of the day, I’m a stubborn person and I wanted to buy a home and I was going to do it even if I had anxiety about it. We all wait for this perfect time to make decisions, but the reality is there’s never going to be a perfect time. If you want to buy a house, then do it - don’t wait for someone to do it with. I always say that I don’t like doing stuff by myself, but I’d rather experience it alone than to have never experienced it at all! And if you’re worried about going to showings or inspections by yourself (I was!), then find a trusted friend or family member to go with you and give you clear headed advice! I went to all my inspections, meetings, showings with either my mom or my sister and it helped to ease the burden of doing it alone!
Ultimately, the decision was mine and though it was intimidating, it’s nice to look around and know that I made it and I was able to build something on my own. Now, the space can be a reflection of me and all the things I like. So, expect to see as much purple as I can possibly use! It’s not as easy as it sounds, but if you are thinking of doing this process - trust yourself! This whole process was a learning experience for me in trusting that I can make the right decision as well as sticking up for myself. You and I more capable than you think and the process is worth it in the end!
Conclusion
Phew! That was a lot. As you can see, buying my first home was a tumultuous process, but also an exciting one. Had I known how stressful it was going to be, I’m not sure I would have ever done it. But now that I’m on the other side of the process, I can tell you that it was 100% worth it and I’m glad I didn’t know because now I have a home that is all mine. Change and growth is often times uncomfortable and scary - but as I always tell myself, it’s only scary until you learn its not! Don’t let being afraid stop you from your homeownership journey!