Buying a home is daunting and intimidating, especially when doing it by yourself! So, imagine me jumping in to the deep end of home buying as a single woman without a second thought and just trying to keep up with the process. When buying a home, especially on your own, there are so many things to figure out before you ever walk in to an open house. I did not know any of those things, so let me share with you what I learned so you can be prepared and it won’t feel quite as intimidating.
Why I Decided to Buy a Home
What a loaded question that is! I think the reason to buy is different for everyone and for me the answer is: A Mid-Life Crisis. Sitting on my couch, staring down the big 30 birthday and feeling like I needed a big change in life, I responded to a “Self Promo Sunday” post for a realtor in a facebook group I’m in! Which in hindsight feels a little unhinged, but what can I say - it turned out well for me!
That makes it sound like it was such an easy process, but it was not, at least not for me. I had no idea what I was doing or how the process worked. There were so many moments through the process that I just sat there thinking “what the heck have I gotten myself in to?”. Now that I get to sit on a couch in a home I own and can do whatever I want, I can say the process was worth it!
There was never really a renting vs buying war in my mind - each has their own advantage! I liked the freedom of renting - that I could pick up and move at the end of the lease if I don’t like it, there isn’t any yard work, no maintenance, a pool (always a requirement when I’m looking for an apartment!). For a home, I like the idea of being able to do whatever I want with it (paint, new tiles, wallpaper), that I’ll be building equity for future Ashley, and that I’ll have a space that is fully my own.
Now the question I know you all want to ask: Why buy solo? And the answer is quite simple - because I’m single! After spending 5 years waiting on someone who ultimately decided I wasn’t worth his time, I decided to quit waiting around. If I want to do something, I’ll do it even if it means I have to do it by myself! I had the money to buy a house on my own and wanted to make a big change in my life, so why not? And now I can paint my kitchen cupboards pink and my bedroom purple and I don’t have to ask anyone else what their opinion is!
Unlocking my condo for the first time post closing!
Why I Chose a Condo Over a House
As with everything, there are pros and cons to each one. As I mentioned before, I did not want to do yard work or outside repairs, but owning a condo is more than just that! Those were the biggest perks for me, but a lot of condo associations will also have amenities! If you are looking at condo’s make sure to ask what amenities the community has (I would love to have a community with a pool!). My HOA fee includes, sewage, trash/recycling, snow removal, and lawncare. Make sure to ask what your HOA fees will cover so you know what you are getting out of the fee! I looked at a condo with a $500 HOA fee and it pretty much covered trash, water, and snow removal with very little amenities as part of the community. While the condo looked great, I couldn’t justify it! With a condo, you are going to have shared walls with your neighbors and shared common spaces as well, which can always be hit or miss depending on your neighbors. And as we all know, there are going to be HOA rules. Before making an offer or as part of your purchasing process, make sure to ask information about the HOA and look up any reviews you can find. I think its important to specifically ask about: the Current HOA fee (and what it covers), any recent fee increases, hoa rules (I got a copy of the rules before I submitted my offer), and any pet or rental restrictions (in case you want to rent this space later - better to ask now just in case).
Owning a home, you most likely aren’t going to have to deal with an association, the rules, or have shared walls with neighbors, which is great! But that also means that there aren’t really rules to keep the neighborhood as nice, so you risk having a neighbor that doesn’t have as high of standards as you do when it comes to home maintance. You will have your own yard and private property as well as the freedom to do to your yard whatever you want! That of course is going to mean more exterior maintenance from both your wallet (siding/roof/landscaping repairs) as well as time (mowing, gardens). And you will miss out on any amenities that might come with an association. Though, you have the freedom to add any amenities to your yard that you could possibly want!
I know many people talk about how much they hate HOAs and that you’re still attached to other people in a condo - which I get. But ultimately, having a house that I would have to take care of fully on my own felt so overwhelming (siding, roof work, yard work, tree maintenance, fences - all of that is stuff that I’m not interested in figuring out right now), so if I could pay an HOA fee monthly to have that taken care of by all means I’m happy to. Not only that, but I put myself on a limited budget and most of the areas I could afford a home in were areas that I wouldn’t be comfortable living as a single woman. So, I started looking at condos in nicer areas!
Preparing to Buy
Why do you want to buy a home?
As mentioned before, I bought my condo without a plan but I can’t say I would recommend it (though it turned out well for me, I think it’s best to make sure you are prepared). When making such a big decision (and it is a big decision!), it’s important to make sure you think it through and consider all angles and possibilities. So, you’ll definitely want to sit down and have a conversation with yourself about why you want to buy and if it will ultimately serve your goals! If you are someone who likes to jetset around the world and value travel and going out more, then maybe renting is the better option for you!
I think it’s important to note that while owning and having your own place (both to call your own and also to build wealth/an appreciating asset), it’s not always going to be the better option for you. Which can be hard to hear, but I think so many people on social media talk about how renting is throwing away money and the only thing to do is to buy. Which I think is such an over simplification of such a deeply personal choice and process. When you are renting, you know what your monthly cost is going to be and until it’s time to renew your rent, it will always stay the same. And if a toilet breaks, you don’t have to repair it or pay to repair it. You call your landlord up and they will fix it for you. That is the kind of freedom that I wish I could have forever even with a home. I hate house repairs! But in that same vain, with owning is going to come unexpected repairs and remodels and redecorating, etc. Not only that, but property tax can change which can increase escrow costs. And not to mention, interest rates right now are crazy high, which is going to increase your monthly mortgage and decrease the amount of home that you can afford. Thats not to say that it isn’t worth it, its just something that you need to do a cost analysis of! If you value being able to pack up and move to find the cheapest rent with the nicest amenities, than renting will be for you (but to still build wealth for yourself, make sure to invest)! If you really value making the home yours with remodels and you enjoy the process, than definitely owning is for you!
All that to say, don’t let people on the internet tell you that you have to buy or you are wasting your money. Its not a waste if it serves you and your lifestyle. You’ll want to sit down and have a look at your life and decide if renting or buying will help you reach your goals and match your lifestyle.
What can you realistically afford?
I think this might be one of these biggest and most important questions through this entire process because it is going to affect your budget for the next 30 years. It’s so important to make sure you’re purchasing a home that will fit within your budget. For me, in order for purchasing a home to be worth it, it had to be around or less than my current rent. Owning a home wasn’t so important to me that I was willing to give up the other areas of my budget (such as saving for travel - probably the biggest thing I wasn’t willing to give up to be honest) and if I couldn’t find a home that matched that price range, then I wasn’t going to buy! I put myself on a pretty strict budget and probably could have “afforded” more than I got, but I wasn’t comfortable with that monthly payment and so bought a condo that I was comfortable with! I think it’s important when building your budget to remember a couple of things: 1) HOA fess if you’ll have them, 2) Utilities in a home can be higher than an apartment, 3) Home maintenance (you’ll want to make sure to have money saved for any issues that come up!).
As part of the process, you will seek Pre-Approval from a lender. This is important for 2 reasons: 1) it will let you know what your lender thinks you can afford and will also let sellers know you’re serious about buying. I felt like it was most important to me to narrow down a price range for what I thought I could afford. Lender’s will give you an approved amount that you can purchase, but just because they tell you that you are approved for a $500,000 home doesn’t necessarily mean that you should spend that much. Through this entire process, my biggest pet peeve was that no one could tell me what my monthly mortgage was going to be, just what the house was going to cost. And to me, that was the most important part! I don’t care that my condo cost $159,000. I wanted to know what I was going to be paying each month! I found the zillow estimate a good guideline and also found some estimators online where I was able to put in all my information to get a monthly estimate. For me, my rent was a good monthly amount for me to spend, so my aim was to have a mortgage payment around or less than my current rent. But if you think you can afford more than your rent, thats great! To give it a test, build your budget for 3-6 months as if you are spending more on rent (and save it instead) and see if you can actually live with that size mortgage. For example, if your rent is $1500, but you think you would be able to afford a $2,200 mortgage, then spend a couple months with $2,200 as your “rent” and see if you can live on the paired down budget!
How much do you need to buy a home?
Before Closing Costs
One of the biggest hurdle’s to buying a home is the down payment! There are programs that can help you buy a home with low or no down payments (so make sure to do your research!) My down payment came straight from my savings - I plan on making a cost breakdown of my process soon! The one thing that I really didn’t consider was the closing costs. When you’re saving, make sure to take those in to account! Closing costs are costs that are associated with closing/your mortgage on top of your down payment. The deal we worked out for my closing was that the sellers paid closing costs (so I could pay to break my lease!), so the only “cost” I had on the day of closing was my down payment (but definitely want to note that this is not always the case, so make sure to save enough to pay for both your down payment and your closing costs)!
Once you have decided you want a home, you will most likely pay earnest money. This is basically just a good faith deposit you pay to prove you are serious about buying the home. It’s going to be held in an escrow (or neutral) account, not given directly to the sellers and will be credited at closing to either your down payment or closing costs. So it can feel like an additional payment, but its kind of just pre-paying a bit of your closing costs and isn’t necessarily an additional cost. You can get it refunded if the sale falls through for specific reasons (such as inspection failure!)
As part of the mortgage application process, your lender will most likely request an application fee. This is a fee that you pay for them to process your application and all the work behind reviewing it. This will be an additional cost on top of closing and down payment.
Once you are in contract, you will have an inspection! In competitive markets, some people will tell you to waive inspection. This can make your offer more competitive, but in my opinion isn’t really worth it. I would never waive an inspection just because I want to know what I’m getting in to when I’m purchasing and I wouldn’t want to buy a home just to find out in a year and a half that there was extensive mold or termite damage, or some other issue that would have been caught on an inspection report. This will be an additional cost, but one that again, I think is 100% worth it.
Those were the 3 costs I paid before closing, but you may also see an appraisal fee! This was wrapped up in to my closing costs, but could vary depending on your lender. The appraisal just makes sure that you are paying what the house is worth!
Closing Costs
Closing costs include a lot of fees and items that I honestly don’t have a full grasp on. To be honest, I did not do my due diligence in researching what they all were! I simply saw the list of fees, accepted that I had to pay them and then forgot all about them. You will get a closing disclosure as part of the closing process and I fully encourage you to read it over and ask about ANY fee you aren’t sure what it is or what the point is (unlike me haha). It’s your money and you are entitled to know where and to who it is going to. Its a safe bet to estimate closing costs at 2%-5% of the cost of the home! I would recommend saving 5% of what you’re thinking you want to spend on a home - it’s always better to have more money than you need!
Looking over my closing disclosure, below are the fees that were included as part of my closing costs.
Loan Application Fess (underwriting fee, application fee, processing fee)
Appraisal Fee
Title Closing Fees
Homeowners Insurance Premium
Prepaid Interest
Property Tax
Real Estate Commission
That is a generalization on what was included in my closing costs. If you’re interested in more details, feel free to reach out! I am happy to send you some more specifics if you have more questions. These were not things that I was directly involved in, but mostly things that happened in the background between realtor, lender, and title company to make sure the closing happened.
Post Closing Costs
These are probably the costs that will sneak up on you the most. No one thinks about the little fees here and there post closing that will creep up on you but can add up to quite a bit. This is going to include new locks, new toilet seats (I know silly, but it was one of the first things I replaced haha), moving costs, setting up utilities, new furniture you need, little repairs that need done, appliances if they didn’t come with your home, etc. It’s impossible to create an exhaustive list. But it’s important to know that you will incur some post closing costs as you move in to your new home and to make sure to have money set aside so it doesn’t seem as stressful when they pop up!
There is a lot to save for when you’re buying a home and the process can make it seem like money is flying out of your hand faster than you can grab. That’s why its so important to make sure you have money set aside specifically for the buying process. I used general savings that I had and not a specific home buying “bucket” of savings and it is a big piece of advice that I would give - make sure you are saving a separate amount for your home purchase! The amount you need to save is going to vary drastically depending on what kind of home you are looking at and how much of a down payment you want to put down.
Closing Day!
House Hunting Process
This was a very short process for me and to be honest, I feel like that made the process more stressful for me! I always see online how people spend months looking for the perfect home and so that is what I was expecting the process to look like. Well color me surprised when I toured houses for 2 weeks before finding the one I bought. For me, that made the process more stressful just because I didn’t feel like I really had time to process and come to terms with the big decision I was making - I literally cried in the car after touring the condo I ended up buying! Just because I knew I liked it and knew I wanted it and felt overwhelmed by how fast the process went!
There are so many homes on the market, so I found making a list of my must haves and wants was helpful in narrowing down what I wanted to look at. Through the process of viewing, you’ll find what actually is and isn’t important to you. When I first started looking, I was touring houses. I thought I would want a small house with a small yard (I actually hate yard work if you haven’t caught on to that yet) close to my family! And through the process of viewing, I decided that being close to my family, in a safe neighborhood, and little maintenance were the most important things on my list! Thats how I knew I (well technically Georgia found it and sent it to me) found the one! Sure, it needs a little work, but it’s stuff I’m comfortable doing! Any house/condo you purchase is going to need work in some way, so it’s important not to discount a house you love just because it needs some work (as long as you are comfortable doing it).
House Buying Timeline
Months Before Buying
Check Finances (so you know how much house you can afford!)
Research Neighborhoods (so you know where you want to look and average home cost!)
Save! Save! Save!
Decide to Buy & Start the Process
Research Lenders and pick one
Get Pre-Approval from your Lender
Find A Realtor ( steps 2 and 3 can be interchangeable! Don’t feel like you have to do one over the other)
Set your Budget
House Hunting
Tour Homes
Compare wants vs needs and what is important to you as you tour
Find a Home - YAY
Make an Offer
part of the offer process will be any seller concessions (mine paid my closing costs) as well closing date and any necessary contingencies
Offer Accepted!
Earnest Money
Inspection
Appraisal
Underwriting
this is the process of your lender doing their due diligence on your financial situation! They may request additional documents. The faster you can provide them, the faster you will get to closing.
Closing
Review Closing disclosure
Final Walkthrough (to confirm any repairs were completed after your inspection and make sure home still looks good!)
Sign documents (so many documents!)
Get keys!
first night the condo - we had chinese food, cake, and rosé by camplight!
Buying as a Single Woman
I think making such a big decision on my own is part of what made the process stressful to me. I spent a lot of the process doubting myself and wondering what the heck I was even doing. But at the end of the day, I’m a stubborn woman and I wanted to buy a home and I was going to do it even if I had anxiety about it. We all wait for this perfect time to make decisions, but the reality is there’s never going to be a perfect time. If you want to buy a house, then do it - don’t wait for someone to do it with. I always say that I don’t like doing stuff by myself, but I’d rather experience it alone than to have never experienced it at all! And if you’re worried about going to showings or inspections by yourself (I was!), then find a trusted friend or family member to go with you and give you clear headed advice! I went to all my inspections, meetings, showings with either my mom or my sister and it helped to ease the burden of doing it alone!
Ultimately, the decision was mine and though it was intimidating, it’s nice to look around and know that I made it and I was able to build something on my own. Now, the space can be a reflection of me and all the things I like. So, expect to see as much purple as I can possibly use! It’s not as easy as it sounds, but if you are thinking of doing this process - trust yourself! This whole process was a learning experience for me in trusting that I can make the right decision as well as sticking up for myself. You and I more capable than you think and the process is worth it in the end!
5 Things I Wish I Knew Before Buying
The Actual Cost of Buying A Home.
This might sound silly, but I felt like every time I turned around I needed to pay some fee or for some service. I knew there was going to be a down payment, but I didn’t realize the actual costs that would come in through the process. To be honest, I just didn’t think about it! And as someone who likes to save my money and spend it as little as possible, it was a difficult process haha. Included with that would be the cost of actual home items. I’ve never had the need for paint, but the kid at the Home Depot paint department certainly knows my name now! And let me tell you, paint is way more expensive than I would have thought (and don’t get me started on wallpaper!). It all adds up pretty quick! That is also something I didn’t think about and probably should have.
Buying A Home is Very Emotional
The other thing, besides money, that I wish I would have known is just how emotional this process would be. It’s such a rollercoaster from excitement, to stress, to disappointment, and back again. The amount of times, just in the short time I was looking, that I was ready to call it a day and never think of buying a home again is embarrassing.
It Doesn’t Have to be Your Dream Home
of course, you want it to be a place you can see yourself living in for a long time (so don’t settle for something you aren’t happy with), but it doesn’t have to tick every box on your list. As long as you like it, you can see yourself living there, and you can create a vision for it your good! You can either sell it and move when you outgrow it or you can make it your dream home by upgrading it and doing renovations! The important part is to see the vision. The first thing I did after I bought my condo was create a vision board for each room with the vibe I wanted it to have.
Buying Alone Doesn’t Mean You Have to Do Everything Alone.
To be honest, buying alone can be scary and as I mentioned before, I took my sister or mom with me to every part of this process. But that didn’t stop after closing. My family has been so helpful with everything from painting to repairing my washer, to cleaning the entire place! You have people around you who are willing to help, so don’t make home ownership seem more daunting by trying to shoulder it on your own - don’t be afraid to ask for help!
A Good Realtor Makes A Huge Difference
A good realtor is key to the home buying process and if thats the only thing that you take away from this entire post than that is fine by me. Especially if you are going through the process as a single homebuyer or as a first time home buyer. You are going to want someone who is able to explain each step of the process to you and will listen to what you want/need. It will make the entire process less stressful. My realtor was good, and this is not at all a dig at her - she was great and I would recommend her if you’re looking in the Columbus area! Here are 5 questions to ask your realtor to make sure they are a good fit for you:
How long have you been a realtor?
How often do you work with first time home buyers?
How will you help me understand an offer and options after inspection?
How are you compensated?
What agreements will I be asked to sign to work with you?
Conclusion
Phew! That was a lot. As you can see, buying my first home was a tumultuous process, but also an exciting one. Had I known how stressful it was going to be, I’m not sure I would have ever done it, so I’m kind of glad I was ignorant. But now that I’m on the other side of the process, I can tell you that it was 100% worth it and I’m glad I didn’t know because now I have a home that is all mine. Change and growth is often times uncomfortable and scary - but as I always tell myself, it’s only scary until you learn its not! Don’t let being afraid stop you from your homeownership journey!
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